Girls as we know them!

Output fileIt can be difficult to admit that you held a torch for someone so long that whenever you turned it on, it got dimmer. But when you finally grow a pair and ask her out, dude, it’s when Armageddon looks like hailstorm.
When life fucks you up one way, the first thing that comes to your mind is a glass of bourbon. But then, you realize you ain’t 21 yet. So, get a hard-on and sleep like a baby. Yeah! That’s what a teenagers’ life has reduced to in India. You beat yourself up in asking someone out and when you do, you realize that it was your first or the last mistake. It’s like, in India, girls are of 3 types.
Well, LET ME TELL YOU BEFOREHAND THAT WHATEVER YOU READ AFTER THESE BOLD LETTERS IS THE SILENT YELL OF EVERY YOUNG MAN, WHICH I WILL TRY TO PEN DOWN WITH UTMOST PLAUSIBILITY. ’I am not stereotyping girls in India. I am just trying to’. It ain’t an easy task to achieve. Indian girls are like a flock of birds trying so hard to fly in different directions that they end up being lost in the vast expanse called ‘sky’. Like always, it’s not their fault. Britons have earned the right to be blamed for the backwardness India faces today. Hadn’t the motherfuckers been prying for a business setup, our land and our people would have been unblemished by the social stigma of slavery and weakness. Post-independence, no one expected that the British will leave an un-sown seed of its munificence in our lawns and inside our homes, on the streets and roads, all abundant with English glory. Well soon enough, the western culture caught on and left the 21st century Indian teens in a jacked up situation.
All I am trying to say is- ‘It ain’t our fault’.
Well the first category of girls is undoubtedly the most bitched about. They are like the English prom queens carrying a heavy cologne even when they shit. You can’t read their conscience man! It’s like it was never there in the first place. They are like a walking time bomb, which may explode at the slightest touch. You don’t ask them to go out with you. They do. If you do ask them, you are mostly gonna be turned down by some lame-ass reason which you’ll have to disguise while ranting it to your friends. But one thing is there, they will carry the cutest smile and the sweetest of attitudes when it comes to the task of getting their work done. And I have got bored of criticizing them over and over again. So, I take a different perspective and I say that it ain’t their fault. It is ours. Well! Tell me, who ain’t gonna get flattered if a cute girl walks up to her and asks if he could do her assignment. You gotta have guts to say no. And believe me; however far and animated you may bitch right now, your guard will drop like a feather when it comes to talking to her face to face. You will start gawking and talking like a kid in a zoo. When a situation like this materializes, take a deep breath and go for it. TALK.WATCH.BITCH.SHUT UP. Being with them is like living a life where your self-respect comes last in the priority list. It all ends with a late night message.
The second variety is the dominant one. They are the ‘loved ones’. They are like the bees which talk good-nature shit in public and bicker in their sorority meetings. They are the ‘crushes’ stuff. You in high-school, you find one here-The one perfect girl in your eyes. The one you try for. It won’t be a month of freshmen year and you will be writing poetry or losing your sleep over someone and staring her in class. Rumors will fly around like mosquitoes. Tough to know where they come from, you know! Trying to find out the alpha is difficult. And all would be for that one girl wearing a cute smile with an innate quality which attracts you. It is all worth it in the end. Believe me! You get a piece to add to your precious little imagination. With all the goodies that I write, they have their own little eccentricities, which, if you by any freaking chance put your finger on it, you are as good as a used toilet paper. They don’t accept being the second option. They will keep you waiting. You will be waiting long enough to realize that it ain’t worth and you will start writing shit like me. It’s all mutual fellows. They hold all the charisma. They will remain the same, only you gotta adjust to add a successful relationship in your diary. Being with them is like holding a cup of coffee. You can savor it while you can, but in the end it leaves a sour taste.
Well, the Indian category has several subcategories which may or may not be realized at the time being. (Yes, I am asserting the fact that I know girls. All girls. Like oooooooooooooooooooool girls.) So when I say that ‘Indian girls’ are an extended version of Pokemon series with powers ranging from making you impotent to having you cut your arms with their names, I am not kidding. They also show exceptional features of love and hatred randomly. You would be sleeping like a horse when your cell will ring with her on the other side telling you to make her sleep. Then some turn out to be so unresponsive with their reticence that you feel like talking to a cow. And we show extraordinary patience. Yes, extraordinary. It is the feeling of listening to the same song again and again because you can’t take the chance of listening to another one. With the diversity that India shows, it exhibits exceptional unity as well. So being attracted to a girl outside your cast is a boon and a bane at the same time. Being with an Indian girl is like accepting everything that Indian relations have to offer. RESPECT. MATURITY. ONCE ONLY S*X.

I am just a wanderer who loves to travel ,meet, love and write.

Kartik Dulloo

Growth Hacker | E&C Engineer | Spell-Bee Runner up | Part Grammar Nazi, Part Grammar Hippy | Failing Anglophile

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