It seems like it was meant to start in the end. The year had a fleeting essence to it. It was like everything was mixed up in a bag and hurled round and round with pieces crumbling and falling over at distant places. I had no schedule, no classes to attend, no relatives to visit, and no marriages to go to. Everything was disarray. There was nothing in which I was voluntarily active. There was no one to force me to do anything, none to stop me from doing anything. I was riding solo.
With these perambulations on one side, there was this joy of living on the edge. The surging adrenaline when things got dope, the pin-pricking seniors, the asshole teachers. It all was worth it. When I write this, I always compare the analogy of things in respect of ‘two sides of a coin’. It’s like everything is accounted for. Every version of life has a different side to it. You just need to flip it.
With the mantle of engineer and the crust of a writer, my core was in constant disagreement with itself. There wasn’t a day when I didn’t think about the down-sides of bringing my engineering career to an end (which had just started). To take up the maverick lifestyle with no one to give orders to and none to take orders from. It seemed all probable in the beginning. But when the thought of enduring your life at the hands of destiny set in, there wasn’t much but little hope to take on the road. The ramifications were staggering. With a sad bank account, one can’t really think to start off on his own. Money had an invisible pull. Something for which everything had an answer once you had the right amount. So, I was pretty much settled on my engineering thing.
The year was like any freshmen year. With the new curriculum, we read, we played, were dismayed at times, and were happy to have survived. The end seemed more eventful. The exams were nearing and everyone was a deadbeat. I hated ‘Engineering Drawing’. And the last paper proclaimed itself to be it. I got up early that day, slept again, got up again and took a bath. I entered the exam hall half an hour before and seated myself to set the apparatus. With the ‘failing’ fear still looming, I unscrewed the top of my pen and carved my name on the drawing board in blue ink. We weren’t supposed to do so.
The exam ended and I exited the college. I later came to know that it was rather easy. Easy for them- Bastards!
And that is when the thought of what lay ahead struck me and I felt the overpowering joy of its happening.
It was just a day now. It was over two months since I booked the tickets. And the day was tomorrow.
And I start writing about it now.